August 23, 2011 9:18 PM - gay smurf hoodlum
Since Snappy is so hesistant to start a full-fledged sex advice column, I figure i'll do it.
As many of you know I've been an ardent pracitioner of auto-sexuality for quite some time now; this is a lifestyle choice, NOT because I cant go out and hook up with people. There's tons of ho-bags out there, especially in the gay world, so again I repeat: this is a CHOICE!
I have a degree in Psychology from the prestigious Rutgers University in New Jersey so it's not like i don't know what im talking about, okay? About time I do something worthwhile with my psychology degree.
So bring on the questions!!!! nothing is too vile or base to ask, just ask!!! I ask questions all the time that most people would be too embarrassed to ask.
And it's not like im a virgin or anything, hells duh, i HAVE had sex before! I've also seen thousands of hours of porno in my life of all kinds so I can offer good solid down home advice.
Don't be shy, ask Butterfly!
*rob*
As many of you know I've been an ardent pracitioner of auto-sexuality for quite some time now; this is a lifestyle choice, NOT because I cant go out and hook up with people. There's tons of ho-bags out there, especially in the gay world, so again I repeat: this is a CHOICE!
I have a degree in Psychology from the prestigious Rutgers University in New Jersey so it's not like i don't know what im talking about, okay? About time I do something worthwhile with my psychology degree.
So bring on the questions!!!! nothing is too vile or base to ask, just ask!!! I ask questions all the time that most people would be too embarrassed to ask.
And it's not like im a virgin or anything, hells duh, i HAVE had sex before! I've also seen thousands of hours of porno in my life of all kinds so I can offer good solid down home advice.
Don't be shy, ask Butterfly!
*rob*
45 comments
That would be a serious distraction for me.
*rob*
I also don't mind something simple on the shoulder.
Something about the chicks' back at the top of this page just seems to busy and off balance.
*rob*
*rob*
Any advice about poo mist and long term relationships?
whenever i was in relationships I always made sure to poo when I KNEW the other person was going to be outside of the apartment for a few hours, or at least sleeping. while im against one bathroom per person, it does eliminate the problem of poo mist. so it's basically a toss up? for me, since ive never lived anywhere where i had access to more than one toilet technically, i've always scheduled my poops out of respect for others. i think that's common courtesy, even amongst families. the trend these days of two toilets is just gross tho. more on that later my ziti is done
*rob*
Why did a gay man pick a photo of a woman for his column? Are you sure you're gay?
it's my advice column and gay men often identify with women. Obviously, you're straight. what a weirdo question MrMsAnonymous! plus im not a fan of gay stereotypes, thus i couldnt even imagine what kind of gay image to show. Do you have a REAL sex question to ask?
*rob*
Is sex about just having a personal earthquake or is there really possible to have
some kind of connection that endures that comes out of it? Have you ever fallen
in love? Do you think that exciting sex makes you vulnerable? Do sex and friendship
go together?
I'm laughing because snappy has to keep telling you that she is not the one posting the articles! :D
What time will the Dr. be in???
Why is it that some people seem to show a preference for a certain demographic when it comes to sex, such as Latinos, Blacks or even hot Asian women?
Thanking you in advance
Is sex about just having a personal earthquake or is there really possible to have
some kind of connection that endures that comes out of it?
of course it's POSSIBLE. for women there's about a 40% chance of an emotional connection that could emerge from a sexual encounter, for straight men about 25% chance and for gay men that chance drops down to a whoppingly low statistic of about 3%.
quote:
Have you ever fallen in love?
sure! hundreds of times!
quote:
Do you think that exciting sex makes you vulnerable?
-i dont understand this question. vulnerable to what? disease? then yeah i guess
quote:
Do sex and friendship go together?
-like friends with benefits? i can honestly say ive never wanted to have sex with any friend ive ever had. ew
quote:
Why is it that some people seem to show a preference for a certain demographic when it comes to sex, such as Latinos, Blacks or even hot Asian women?
our propensity toward a certain ethnicity or "type" usually is formed by the time we are 5 years old. im a bit of a freudian when it comes to this kinda stuff. part of my idolization of strong black women, while not overtly sexual of course but rather metasexual was stems from a strong black baby sitter i had as a child. the first one was Princess a blind black labrador mutt who slept with me in crib. after that was a strong black human female named Cookie. those were two of the strongest female influences in my life which has caused me to be the man i am today. please not there is a difference between having a type and having a fetishized type. i really dont know anything about fetishes other than most people who have them are just flat out perverts. no deep psychological assessment needed.
*rob*
I'm thinking of experimenting with infantilism; dressing/acting/being treated as a baby. Do you think i might meet others into this sort of thing at Monteros or the PS Food Coop???
Yours truly,
Crib lover
*rob*
I'm going to have a very hard time removing that image from my head!
This is a bit uncomfortable to ask at this time, but do you accept United Healthcare - Oxford? And do I need to cover the co-pay?
This is a bit uncomfortable to ask at this time, but do you accept United Healthcare - Oxford? And do I need to cover the co-pay?
this is a boutique clinic. we can't be asked to deal with cumbersome insurance companies. also no government programs accepted (medicaid, medicare, etc) Planned Parenthood is right down the block for that shit.
*rob*
I did notice it was a bit sticky. I assume it is either grape jelly residue or DIBS had an appointment before I did.
*rob*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMICD3aMZpw
Oops, sorry. Wrong column...
*rob*
Lordy, heaven help all strong black females who read this and know rob.
fattening and an umbrella almost fell on a guy near me who was drinking coffee. The wind blew it over. Then I decided that I really didn't need to get a concussion from a flying umbrella so I picked up my stuff and tried to find another table.
The guy who got hit found another table and when he saw me, he said I could sit at his table.
I didn't know this meant that I would be the recepient of his invitations to go out with him. He told
me that he was "honored" that I was sitting with him and talking to him. (I was just looking for a flat
surface for my computer and an internet connection). He was youngish and told me that he likes women
with more experience in life than him.
He was also covered in coffee. What would you have done?
He was youngish and told me that he likes women
with more experience in life than him. He was also covered in coffee. What would you have done?
Did you find him attractive? was there an psychic spark between the two of you? If not I would have politely asked him to use another table if he could and that youd prefer the table to yourself. However, if you were near a coffee shop and since he spilled his coffee you could have said with a pretty smile, why i think you should get yourself another coffee and of COURSE you can sit her darling.. would you mind picking me up a coffee while youre there as well? if he was interested in you (which it seems he was) you would have gotten a free coffee out of it.
a lot of women think it's demeaning and shameful to just go up to a man and ask him to buy you a drink. i think it's powerful and assertive yet at the same shows you have a vulnerable side that likes to be taken care of.
like Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes used to say (RIP LISA!!!) "I aint 2 proud 2 beg!"
*rob*
be playing with a full deck, but I DID kind of like that it happened. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes? I clearly need to
do some googling.
Dona - Lisa wore a condom over her left eye, hence the name.
Rob, this column is awesome and should get picked up - better than Savage Love for sure.
*rob*
is going to buy you dinner if they ask you out. I am not a "taker"; I always try to find ways to
recripocate but some guys actually expect to split the tab. In the beginning, that is no good.
You ask me, you should pay, don't you think? That is the old-fashioned way anyway. Then what
I do is buy tickets, good dinner, do all kinds of things so that the burden doesn't fall on the guy but
I hate it when they ask you out and expect you to pay. Next.
What do u think, b-fly?
my advice is HOLISTIC. please dont confuse that with cheesy shit like artisinal, organic, etc. Holistic extends way back many centuries when it comes to the human psyche. Many of you know I am a psychic. a psychic? no, i just tap into what's there, psychically and not physically.
Let's say there were two choices, tap into that vagina/ass or tap into that mind? i opt for the mind. why? because the mind is not a physical thing, it transcends SO much. the ass and the vagina are two cavities that filled with nasty stuff like E coli and a gazillion other diseases. I tap into your mind, NOT your pussy/ass.
anyway, Hurrican Special today, my services are FREE (see that is what would happen if we ONLY had Boutique healthcare, but let's not talk about politics i hate politics)
DONNA:
You ask me, you should pay, don't you think? That is the old-fashioned way anyway. Then what
I do is buy tickets, good dinner, do all kinds of things so that the burden doesn't fall on the guy but
I hate it when they ask you out and expect you to pay. Next.
sounds like youre either going out with scrubs or your a scrub yourself in sheeps clothing. when people offer you something, you say yes thank you. you dont say no. im a scrub myself and whenever i offer to buy people drinks they refuse thinking my welfare check hasnt come in the mail or something. it's like um, if im offering to buy you a drink it means i CAN BUY YOU A DRINK! when people refuse it's sorta hurtful in a weird kinda way. understandable if it's strangers, but if it's someone that knows you what happens when they wont let you buy them a drink, your pride is sorta on the floor. so i always say, when someone offers you something for free you TAKE it. people always say "there's nothing free in life" BULLSHIT! there's a ton of free shit out there but a lot of people grew up thinking that a handout is a handout and something akin to welfare. not the case! i always have my friends backs when i have money and vice versa.
if you are on a blind date just use the omfg i brought my mugger wallet and not my REAL wallet! you have no money on you but like a 10 dollar bill and be like wow im sorry but how could i be SO dumb!?!? this is why i dont go out on dates cuz most of the time i dont even have enough cash for a mugger wallet but whatever. donna you are an amazing person, i always love hanging out with you and sadly those tarot cards got all busted up in a very tumultuous experience at a party :( i need a new deck.
Jessi:
quote:
I'll grab the drinks after dinner or the popcorn for the movie.
and someone is gonna cut a hole at the bottom of the popcorn container, stick his penis up it, get all buttered up, and completely expect a hand job in the middle of a movie. this happened to me once. i was like OMFG are you serious? you just stuck your hardon thru the popcorn!? like literally i reached in for some popcorn and there was a hard dick in the popcorn. i was like ew, gross, not my scene and excused myself and said i had to go out on a smoke break and i never went back.
*rob*
ROFLMAO... the popcorn story. Now there's a surprise. I guess he was surprised when you didn't come back.
So you will provide holistic couseling services for the hurricane????? GOOD!!!!!!!!!
Make sure you get your supplies!!!!!